Rolling Backpacks

I here by announce a new law banning all Rolling Backpacks. Coming back from Victoria after having some beers on the ferry I just wanted to get the hell out of there. 3 ladies and 1 guy rolling fucking purple backpacks in front of me just fucking out of control. Making annoying little sounds like they are pushing a shopping cart around. The best part is as soon as you get to stairs...They are so fucking lazy they refuse to pick up these stupid fucking things. So when these people are not looking i spit on the back of their rolling backpacks especially if they are trying to pull them down a flight of stairs like some sort of handicapped kid who's elevator is broken. I'm ashamed of a few things I have done in my life like pushing this girl Megan down in grade 4 and breaking her arm.. or the time i grabbed a peacock by the neck in Stanley Park and punched it in the face for biting me... Or the time I made my best friend Allison snort a line of sour cream at a Boston Pizza but this...I have no remorse. These people are the fucking plague, kettle heads swinging these purple backpacks everywhere in malls.. Wtf are you carrying in there anyway....dead bodies?
anyway I'm out, Today is going to be retarded busy... Retarded like people with their Rolling Backpacks that can't go down stairs properly.
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SPAM

I get so much god dam spam now i don't even know what to do with some of the email accounts i rock out. For now on I'm posting my spam and e-mailing most of it back to these fuckers with their shit scams. If you fall for some of this shit..you should smash your head into a brick wall because it's just retarded....here is the message..my reply is at the bottom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
TREAT AS URGENTFROM THE DESK OF DR ALHAJIDANCO
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)OUAGA-BURKINA FASO


DEAR FRIEND,
I Am DR DR ALHAJIDANCOIthe manager in charge of auditing and accounting
unit
foreign remittance depatmet of BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)ouaga-burkina faso
in
west Africa. with due respect and regards I have decided to contact you
on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at
the end of the transaction,During our investigation and auditing in the
bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a
deceased person, a foriegner who died a plane crash and the fund has
been
dormant in his account with the bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or
relation
before our discovery to this development,Although personally, I kept
this
information secret within myself and partners to enable the whole plans
and idea be profitable and uccessful during the time of execution.The
amount
involved is (USD$10. Million UNTED STATE DOLLARS). Meanwhile all the
whole
arrangement and directives needed to put claim over this fund as the
bonafide
next of kin to the deceased, will be forward to you upon your
acceptance
nformation will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest
and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this great
business
portunity.
In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in
this country as a civil servant,we are not allowed to operate a foriegn
account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the
time
of transfer because I work in this bank,This is the actual reason why
it
will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the
next
of kin with affidavit of trust of Oath to the bank and also
present a foriegn account where you will need the said money
(USD$10,Million
UNTED STATE DOLLARS)to be transfered into, after due verification and
clarification
to designated bank account.
I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free,
On
smoth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of
the
total sum as ratification, while 10% will be set aside to take care of
expenses
that may arise during the time of transfer such as telephone bills etc,
while 60% will be for me and my partners. Please you have been adviced
to
keep top secret as we are still in service and intend to retire from
service
after we conclude this deal with you. I will be monitoring the whole
situation
here in the bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask us
to come down to your country for subsequent shearing of the fund
according
to percentages previously indicated and further investment,either in
your
country or any other country you may advice us to invest in.
All other necessary information will be sent to you when I hear from
you.I
suggest you get back to me as soon as possible, stating your wish in
this
deal.
Yours
faithfully,
DR ALHAJIDANCO
TREAT AS URGENTFROM THE DESK OF DR ALHAJIDANCO
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)OUAGA-BURKINA FASO

-------------------------------------------------

Thanks for the e-mail you asshole Dr. sdjfakdfhhakjdfa or whatever your name is. I can't wait to be a millionare by swindling dead people! What country do you even live in? Last time i checked Africa wasn't a country! Bank of Africa eh ...humm are they going to pay me in sheep or possibly wooden African nickles... or maybe some sweet De beers blood diamonds made from the labour of 2 year of children YES! So this e-mail you sent me is so top secret why the fuck are you sending it to me? You don't know which country I even live in or my fucking name... how do you know I'm not some sorta pig cop? Wait a second this is top secret in fact I got this e-mail about 8 times now you fucking jackass...and if I ever visit Africa you'll be one of the 10 people with computers so Don't think I wouldn't be able to find you with the process of elimination. Your scared to work on this deal alone because of African politicians in the laws in your country? Wtf.. you live in Africa how systematic is your system anyway? I bet your bank looks like a fucking trading post in a desert selling fucking camel piss. But to reply back I'd fucking love to be in on this deal... wooden African coins just get me hard...email me back!

World Series of Poker

I came back from my trip yesterday and I was having massive trouble falling asleep and because there was no Calgary flames hockey on I watched the next worst thing, POKER. For some reason the sports channels now shove this shit down my fucking throat straight time. Since when is playing cards a sport? I play cards when I'm pissed drunk it's not a sport. This fat fuck Christ Money Maker comes on Sportsnet telling me "winning the world series of poker is like winning any major sporting event."
Who are you trying to shit buddy? Your 300 fucking pounds! How the fuck would you know anything about winning a sporting event except maybe a hot dog eating contest. I'm not saying poker doesn't take some skill but Jesus Christ so does Chess and handjobs and I don't see that on sportsnet! Humm well winning the world cup in front of a billion people? NAWWWW I want to be a real athlete playing POKER ONLINE at pokerstars.com...lick my fucking ringbit Chris money maker. He has that stupid commercial that says PRACTICE over and over.. maybe you should practice going for a walk sometime fatty your a monster. You and your million dollars can eat my ass with a spoon get off my fucking T.V!

Fathers Day

Dad charged with storing stash of drugs in 6-year-old daughter's jacket pocket

HILLSIDE, N.J. (AP) - Police here say a man charged with drug possession had an unusual place to store his stash: his 6-year-old daughter's jacket pocket. Dennis Riker, 41, raised suspicions Monday morning when he stopped by his daughter's school in Hillside, saying he had left his keys in her jacket.

But the staff at the A.P. Morris School would not let him in because Riker was not the girl's legal guardian. That role belonged to the girl's grandmother.

Police said Riker, unbeknownst to the school, called the woman to ask her to come to the school. Meanwhile, school officials called her, too, but believed someone else answered and impersonated the woman. And then, the actual grandmother arrived, saying she wanted the girl's jacket.


It was all so strange that principal Tracey Wolff called police to the school. An officer checked the coat and found 25 vials of cocaine and a half-ounce rock of crack in the pocket inside.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And the Father of the year award goes too...This guy Dennis Riker you fucking dolt!
"Show and tell today honey? Well don't worry I've got something that will blow those kid's fucking minds!"
Ya good game buddy best stash for blow ever in a 6 year olds pocket! I have more intelligence in my asshole than a 6 year old has in it's whole body. Kids that are 6 pick up shit and put it in their pocket all the time and your throwing your stash in there?
How about your daughter just holds onto it for you until father's day. Surprise DADDY I made you these shitty drawn painting that looking like someone crushed bugs on a piece of paper and this big bag of blow and crack. Then you go to get the stash and your excuse is that you left your fucking car keys in a little girls pocket? Teaching her to drive at age 6? Going to be the next NASCAR champ? How about maybe Dennis you were just trying this shit on? Got so fucking up on crack you threw on a 6 year olds jacket and forgot your shit inside....Worst drug addict ever.
"I've always just molested children...now wearing this jacket I know what it's like to be one!"
If that was Texas I'm sure your daughter would have got the death penalty? Or what that what you were looking for? Didn't clean her room.. send her to school with some crack in her pocket that will shut the bitch up. All you parents out there take note...Next time your son or daughter talks shit.. just throw some blow in their pocket and either they will get a shitty addiction or hey someone will bust them at school and they will end up in jail. I'm sure someone in jail wouldn't mind throwing a yard of cock in your kids. God bless America.
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300

DUDE I always post about stuff that sucks but today I'm going to be busy as fuck planning another Victoria trip. So I'm telling everyone to see 300 it's the best movie EVER. Now see after seeing it, It made me want to be a spartan go downtown and beat kids in the food court with swords and shields..fucking bad ass. They throw abnormal babies that suck into a pit when they are born! China they have you beat buddy! I hear they smash female melons around there because they don't want to many chicks. Jesus talk about a shitty fucking place to live. I think they need more gays if anything to control the population. Now just imagine if here in Canada we threw shitty babies off cliffs the population would suddenly drop from fucking 32 million to 200 Thousand like our hockey teams wouldn't be way better EH. How would you like to be the guy that gets to throw all the babies off cliffs? Wouldn't that make for good bar conversation picking up chicks..
"Ya I'M A VIRGO TOO!"
"What do you do for a living"
"Well I'm a part time pottery fan but full-time I toss babies off cliffs to their death :)"
Ya that line would bust out good I figure anyway. Hitler had nothing on the Spartans...The Germans wanted a perfect race and still failed winning the war.."pussies". Now I ask all of you go to your wife and tell her your throwing away the kids you have no and making new ones! Then by a sword and kill people that suck and make the world a better place!
SPARRRRTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Slow Walkers

A bunch of fucking kettle heads walking with their arms linked in a fucking chain .001 miles an hour. Snails shit faster than these people walk and I hate them all. If you don't have the speed to go out in public and walk in a mall etc stay the fuck indoors like a downs child in Russia. I walked in this stupid giant mall called Metrotown in Burnaby people walking fucking slow everywhere. If i go shopping I know what i want and i go and get it but not these fucks they slow my whole life down. I feel i should kill one of them to get back all the time I lost standing behind them. So anyway I'm upstairs near this starbucks...and no shit there are 5 chinese people in a row walking i swear in front of me just to piss me off. Me being Asian i felt like i had the right to call them chinks. Black people can call each other the "N WORD!" than i can call Chinese people chinks! Oh sweet racism...Anyway "I said move it Chinks!" They turned there head like Franklin the turtle, slow and easy doesn't win the race dip shits just move. They had one look at me and fucking shrugged it off...Another asian who cares they thought.. Well this one has no problem stepping on the back of some ladies shoes....
"OOPS I SAID...some people just walk too slow i guess"...and gave them the ovechiken who goes it.
I want to start a gang like on the Green Street Hooligans that just kick the crap out of people walking slow in front of them wasting their time. As soon as i turn 65 I'm going to kill myself.
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Pet Ware

It's fucking 18 degrees out and i see ladies walking their fucking dogs in shirts and sweaters. Now you people that dress your dogs up in coats and socks your all fucked in the head and should probably jump off a cliff and kill yourself. Last time i checked....dogs were animals and had fur. They don't need you to evolve them into some sort of fashion show. Imagine what your dog is thinking....
"I'm wearing a fucking purple and pink sweater Jesus Christ lady why don't you just put me down?"
Now they have opened a fucking DOGIE gym by my house. It comes included with a DOG SPA. Yes your dog that's face is about as fucked up as yours can now get a facial and run on treadmills in a tank of water! What gets me is half of the people that take their dogs to these places are fat fucking snobby old cunts. Why don't you stop picking on your dog and try going to the gym yourself you pig. NOPE i want to stay at home knit shitty outfits for my dog and make it go to the dogie gym. The only pleasure i get out of seeing these people is watching how pathetic they look when they have to clean up their dogs shit. I like to stop and chuckle and let them see that I'm laughing at them and their loved one shit all over it's new sweater. They can snicker all they want they are the dip shits sitting with a bag in their hand picking up fucking shit off the sidewalk. Staring at their own dogs asshole just waiting to jump and pick this shit up. I bet after all this dressing up this is the dogs favorite part of the day. If i were that dog I'd be eating twine and plastic straight time for those fucks.

Mom uses her baby as a weapon

ERIE, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A woman pleaded guilty Tuesday to swinging her 4-week-old son like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process.

"Chytoria Graham, 27, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and endangering the welfare of a child under a plea agreement with prosecutors.

By pleading guilty, Graham acknowledged that on October 8 she grabbed her son Jarron by his feet and swung him, hitting her boyfriend and seriously injuring the child.

At Graham's preliminary hearing in December, paramedic Betty Schau, who treated the baby, recalled that Graham was crying and disheveled when medical crews arrived. She testified that Graham told her, "I swung him. I swung him like a bat."

The judge ordered a psychological examination for Graham before her sentencing, set for May 8. The charges carry a minimum of five years in prison because the child was under age 12. Two lesser charges were dropped." -CNN

This women is a fucking pioneer. Next time your in a movie theature or resturant and a baby starts crying and bitching. Pick the fucking thing up and beat it's mother with it. I always thought maybe there could be a sport that included kicking babies through field goals or something of that nature. Your kid's got Feedle alcohol syndrome fuck it! Nothing a few smacks of the melon can't fix. Who will jump old ladies with strollers now they are carrying at least 9 pounds of shit covered baby to swing at you! Babies are a new leathal weapon and I'm going to master tossing the fuckers like a ninja. Ninja baby swinger! Just like Ralpheal the best ninja turtle...I can swing them like nun chucks! Go down to the bar three babies under my arm, 1 for spare of course.. and then BAMO kick the shit out of bouncers with my shit covered babies crying and bitching as a toss them around! Common even if you lost the fight you still covered them in baby shit. It's a win win situation for everyone except the baby.. im sure the tramua will effect it's brain in a way so it's can't remember anyway.
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